Over the years, I
have started paying attention to my body, which often reflects the state of my
mind. Whether there is a platoon of
thoughts, or whether it is one predominant thought that keeps running through
my mind, it is undoubtedly reflected somewhere in some fashion in my physical
body. The body never lies. Whilst driving back home or elsewhere, whilst
at work or at a meeting, I kept checking in on my body, and finding myself
clenched, as if ready for an attack.
Sometimes, my
entire torso would be tensed, my neck and shoulders were scrunched up, my face tight.
For no good reason other than I had to react to what was happening around me or
to what people were saying.
Just simple
awareness is so powerful that the moment I notice and become aware of what is
happening, I was able to relax in that moment. Straighten up, let my muscles
stop clenching themselves, breathe, smile. Instant calm, because I knew there
was nothing actually attacking me.
Being more aware of
my body is a skill I’ve been getting better at, though I’m far from perfect.
It’s a cue, something that indicates what’s going on in my mind, and a way for
me to look into what I’m stressing out about and decide whether I really need
to be in fight-or-flight mode.
Some of the cues
I’ve learned about myself: a clenched jaw (happens a lot), clamped teeth, face
is scrunched up (eyebrows like I’m mad, mouth is frowning, cheeks tensed), neck
and shoulders tensed, sometimes entire torso tensed, legs might be stiff like
I’m bracing myself, hands might be clenched sometimes.
And so, during the
day (when I remember, which isn’t always), I will check in on these cues. And
very often I’ll see them tensed up. And
quite surprisingly and perhaps not so surprisingly, the moment I become aware
of whats happening with my body, I can easily relax.
I check in with my
mind: what am I stressed about? And often it’s something like events or
happenings or people creating frustrations or obstructions or indulging in
power plays, or I’m getting defensive or worrying about whats next, or someone
is frustrating me, or someone is being talkative and boring (I know that’s
pretty rare – I am quite attentive generally).
So when I see that
going on in my mind, I can see that I have an ideal, an expectation, that other
people or life in general aren’t living up to. And I realize that’s a
completely made-up ideal that I don’t need to hold on to, and I can just accept
this moment. And when I do, nothing is so bad after all. (Read a short guide to dealing with stress.)
Or sometimes I just
relax my body, unscrunch my face, unclench my jaw, breathe and smile, and
that’s all I need to get the world in order again.
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