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Why Affirmations Fail
Unfortunately,
a great number of us have the propensity to read self-development books as if
one were reading fiction. Not many put
what they have read and digested into practice.
Of the few who have actually put it into practice, a significant number
give up after getting inspired for a couple of days. And then there are those handful who attempt
to put into practice that which they have read and most people who give up,
give up because it has not worked for them.
Positive
thinking and affirmations have been around for centuries, thus millions and
millions of lives inabshould have been impacted by now, which doesn’t really seem
to be the case. The preponderance of
success stories from the Nirmiti Nidra
workshops is from people who have practiced diligently and implemented what
they have learnt and assimilated. Affirmations
have helped many ordinary people achieve extraordinary results in their lives.
It has turned many ’failures’ into successes. It has created miracles in the
history of human evolution. Yet, the vast majority of people who use
affirmations find that it doesn't work.
Most readers of
this blog are also familiar with affirmation techniques that no one told you
about. The whole point of course, is not
if they have been read, but if they have been implemented. And even as one puts
it into practice, there are reasons why affirmations fail. The popular myth is that all one has to do is
repeat positive statements day in and day out, and sooner or later they would
work. Some wrote their desired outcome
on a card, kept it on their person at all times and repeated the phrase over
and over in their head, with or without a picture poster. Had the expected
outcomes been exactly what was desired, millions of lives would have
transformed. How many do you think have
actually succeeded?
Yet there are
many success stories that abound (quite a few from our workshop
participants too), so there is no doubt that some affirmations do fructify, where
many others fail. With a limited
understanding of the powerful universal intelligence, the force of the
collective intelligence, the inability to operate beyond our span of influence
and control, it is still possible to enumerate why affirmations fail more often
than one thinks. Contrarily there are
times that affirmations do work, and we fail to realize that we have created this
ourselves and take responsibility for it.
The irony is –
1. When it does work, we have not realized how
powerfully our subconscious has created exactly that which we expected or
anticipated.
2. When it doesnt work, we berate ourselves that we
perhaps didnt do it correctly or that we were undeserving or even better, blame
it on fate or destiny.
You already
know from
the previous article as to how you make affirmations work, powerfully yet unwittingly,
unintentionally and unaware. Let us now
look at the reasons why a vast majority of affirmations fail – knowledge of
just these two things GALVANISES your self-development practice.
Inaccesibility
to the Subconscious Mind
One of the
major reasons why positive affirmations often don’t work is because they target
the conscious level
of our mind. This is also one of the
reasons that NLP fails, which we shall discuss in a subsequent article on this blog. The purpose of an affirmation is to pass a
command from the conscious mind to the subconscious mind. It is the
subconscious mind which has the ability, for anything it accepts to be
believable and true, to do whatever it takes to turn the expectation into
reality. Thus, for any practitioner of affirmations, it is important that the
message gets transmitted to the subconscious mind but for the vast majority,
who repeat their affirmations like a mantra within their conscious mind, fail
to get it transmitted to their subconscious mind through their critical filter
of dogmas, beliefs, values and principles.
Core
negative beliefs
A core belief
is something you very strongly believe is true about yourself irrespective of
what anyone else says or thinks about you.
When this core
belief is deep rooted in your subconscious mind, affirmations to the
conscious can hardly help. To know more
about deep rooted core beliefs, you may wish to read this
article elsewhere on this blog. Everyone knows that Jane Fonda was perceived
to be one of the most beautiful women in the world, yet her autobiography
reveals that she judged her physical appearance as inadequate and battled
eating disorders for many years. If the
core negative belief is that you are worthless, useless, fat or ugly, this
belief is true for you irrespective of what the actual reality may be and
irrespective of hundreds of people telling you otherwise. A positive affirmation that clashes with a
deep rooted core belief in your subconscious mind sets off an inner war, a
conflict which uses a great deal of energy but a battle that only your
subconscious mind will win as it fights for survival. What you desire fails to manifest.
Implausible
Destiny
Any affirmation
has to be congruent with the present age on Planet Earth and compatible with
present-day society created by collective desires and intelligence over many
years. If you now affirm that, ”I am a rich
loved king with loyal and faithful subjects’, it may have worked a few
centuries ago, but can it really work in the present age? If your present life on planet earth (for
those who believe in reincarnation) has ’n’ possibilities in line with the
overall purpose for this life experience, can it work if one goes to ’n+1’? Perhaps not, right? Affirmations also have to be believable to
your own mind and yes, most definitely possible even as you repeat it to
yourself. There is a trick that you can
choose (pun intended). For example, if
your body is totally out of shape and you affirm that, ”I am in perfect shape
and very attractive” or if you are penniless (or paiseless) and you affirm
that, ”I am a millionaire” or ”I am earning millions every year”, do you think
your own mind believes them as you recite?
Most likely not. The trick in
such affirmations is to use the words, ”I choose”. Not try saying, ”I choose to be a millionair”
or ”I choose to earn millions each year” or ”I choose to be in perfect shape”
or ”Everything I do is getting me closer to the perfect weight and shape”. Does that make a difference? Indeed it does.
Low
Self-Esteem
Recent research
by scholars has dismissed the utility of self-esteem as well as programs
designed to improve it. I am fully aware
that there are so many ’training programs’ conducted on this subject, but their
efficacy has either not been measured or it has failed to deliver. Self-esteem, to begin with, is not a constant
factor, but can fluctuate every day, or even within a day. It is more like the dollar-versus-rupee in
the financial markets. You ought to
remember that self-esteem is not just the holistic feeling about ourselves but
also how we feel/think about ourselves in specific domains or roles in our
lives (as a parent, employee, boss, child, sibling, etc.). Inevitably, the
greater the importance of a specific role or domain, the greater the impact on
our overall self-esteem. Very high self-esteem,
like in case of narcissists, if also not a good thing, and often quite
brittle. People who are highly
vulnerable to criticism and negative feedback often find that it stunts their
growth. The reason why this topic is
important for this particular article is that positive affirmations make people
with low self-esteem feel worse about themselves, as recent research
suggests. Positive affirmations
appear dramatically contrary to the existing set of beliefs in a given
moment and therefore fail as explained in a couple of paragraphs above. You cannot possibly affirm ”I am a great
success in everything that I do” when you are feeling miserable about
yourself. Here is the trick – change this
affirmation to ”Everything I do is helping me to persevere until I succeed.” Is the allure of self-esteem then
a mirage?
Transience
and Impermanence
You cannot undo
years of thinking and years of ’wrongly’ programming your subconscious mind
overnight. It needs diligence,
perseverance, daily practice and commitment to overwrite what you have previous
written in stone. Even as you must
understand that you get what you expect, not what you want, the only reason so
many people claim that affirmations do not work is because they give up before
the affirmation manifests in their lives.
They have ’tried’ it for a couple of days or for a week. You must diligently practice every single day
for at least a month! And you need to
know, how to
create what you expect and not what you want. Success and self-improvement go hand-in-hand,
but there is no success with transcience, only with unfailing diligent
regularity.
Associating
pain with inevitable action
The best manner
in which this can be explained is through an example. Let us say that your affirmation is related
to wealth or abundance. The inevitable
action in this case is spending. There
will be multiple instances in your life (even as you affirm) that you have to
spend. Now, typically, most people
seeking wealth associate spending with pain.
You know through our workshops that our subconscious mind does
everything in its capacity to increase all those things associated with pleasure
and avoid all those events that cause pain.
Can you imagine the message that you are sending to your subconscious if
each time you spend, causes you pain and grief?
Turn this to your advantage instead by affirmation each time you spend
that ”I always have plenty to spend”.
The workshops
that we conduct arm you with immense information on your subconscious mind, how
to access it and program it for your health and success. Irrespective of whether you become a part of
this unique group or otherwise, there are a few things you must know.
Get out of the
way and let
the practice be the practice.
The Three
Universal Laws of how
your mind processes suggestions.
The Importance
of Negative
Emotions.
Indulging in
interrogative Self-talk is a wonderful alternative. This recent ground-breaking
study sheds light on motivating goal-directed behavior through the
interrogative form of the simple future tense.
Interrogative self-talk is about asking questions and thus, neither
positve or negative. The innate
curiosity built into our subconscious minds propel it to probe for answers to
powerful questions. For a situation
which states ”I am terrible at presentations”, you have the choice to indulge
in positive affirmations like ”I am delivering a great presentation” or indulge
in interrogative self-talk like ”What can I do to make my presentations really
interesting?”.
The Most Powerful Affirmation Ever
Did you know what the most powerful affirmation in the universe is? Were you even aware that most of you reading this article practice almost every single day, perhaps unintentionally and perhaps without the faintest idea of what it can lead to? In fact, the practice is so common that even those who have absolutely no clue what an affirmation is, also practice it with unfailing regularity and possibly guaranteed outcomes.
The New Age Wikipedia states that “Affirmations in New Thought and New
Age terminology refer primarily to the practice of positive thinking and
self-empowerment—fostering a belief that a positive mental attitude supported
by affirmations will achieve success in anything." What it perhaps fails to mention is that owing
to the fact that affirmations is merely the assertion that something exists or
is true, it is not just positive thoughts, but also negative thoughts that can
be affirmed.
Affirmations
become powerful when –
1. One visualizes the outcome
2. Feels in one’s physiology as if it were happening now
3. Ponders in a manner where it were congruent in the present
Affirmations (which
are suggestions and commands to your subconscious mind) are maximum in
Theta, optimal in Alpha and relatively ineffective in Beta.
Now, here is the kicker! Eager
to know what the most powerful affirmation is, which many of us indulge in
every single day? Worrying.
Worrying is one activity that keeps you busy reaching nowhere. And many of us indulge in it, or even revel
in it (pardon my English) every single day!
And a few paragraphs below, allow
me to explain why so many of us have the propensity to turn worry into reality!
“Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its
joy.” – Leo F. Buscaglia.
“Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration and
resentment.” – Dale Carnegie
“Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If
encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.” –
Arthur Somers Roche
“Worry is like a rocking chair: it gives you something to do but never
gets you anywhere” – Erma Bombeck
“A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work.” – John Lubbock
Now spend a little time re-reading the above article with respect to
affirmations, when and how they gain power and about worry as an activity. Uptil now, you have no clue what we are doing
to ourselves! And also make sure, before
you proceed further, that you have read the
previous post on this blog, just so you understand every little bit of what
I am expounding right below.
Before you proceed, presuming you have at least now read the previous
post on this blog, you also need to familiarize yourself with two fancy
technical terms, viz., Hypnopompic
and Hypnagogic Peridos.
These two periods basically refer to the shot period when you wake up
in the morning and fall asleep at night.
When you fall asleep, you go from Beta to Delta through Alpha and Theta
and when you awaken, you go from Delta to Beta through Theta and Alpha
states. Twice each day, you are
unintentionally connected to your subconscious mind, which is the seat and
reservoir of all the programming
you do.
So, at least twice each day, even if you were not a practitioner of Nirmiti Nidra
or meditation, you have an irrevocable opportunity to program your subconscious
mind whilst in the Alpha or Theta State.
Now, contemplate on what you do when you go to bed worrying or when you
wake up in the morning worrying!
You SUCCEED!
At -
1. Fulfilling the criteria for connecting with your subconscious
(unintentionally) optimally by being in the Theta or Alpha state of mind.
2. Programming it with your
worries (thoughts) becoming affirmations (positive or negative)
3. Empowering the Affirmations
further by visualizing and feeling the emotions and adding fuel to the fire, by
imagining as if it were in the present.
Is it a wonder then that most of your fears come true? I have also
had people feeling proud of the fact that their apprehensions actually
fructified. Really!
Worrying is a waste of time (irrespective of what nomenclature you use
to describe the phenomenon). Planning,
however, is a necessity to alleviate future anxiety. Stop worrying! Start living! And, remember you can never displace
thoughts, only replace them.
“According to Vedanta, there are only two symptoms of enlightenment,
just two indications that a transformation is taking place within you toward a
higher consciousness. The first symptom is that you stop worrying. Things don't
bother you anymore. You become light-hearted and full of joy. The second
symptom is that you encounter more and more meaningful coincidences in your
life, more and more synchronicities. And this accelerates to the point where
you actually experience the miraculous. (quoted by Carol Lynn Pearson in
Consider the Butterfly)” ― Deepak
Chopra, Synchrodestiny: Harnessing the Infinite Power of Coincidence to Create
Miracles
The
author, Rajesh Seshadri, is an internationally recognized Certified Leadership
Coach, Certified Success Coach and Certified Life Coach. He is also a NLP Master Practitioner,
facilitator and therapist. The basket of
therapies is holistic and integrative adopting techniques from Psychotherapy,
NLP, Silva, Gestalt, Hypnosis and Silva UltraMind. Additionally, he is a
seasoned corporate professional who continues to serve as a whole-time Director
and Board Member. You can contact him here.
The Gateway to Your Subconscious Mind
Considering that most of the readers would be familiar with the four (now five) levels of mind (aka states of mind) this article is relative concise – yet necessary, since the subsequent article on this very blog requires a more-than-sketchy understanding of this subject.
A brainwave (not
the bright ideas that management gurus talk about) is simply put – an electrical
impulse in the brain. They are produced
by synchronised electrical pulses from bunches of neurons (the latest estimate is there are about 100 billion of them in the brain)
communicating with each other. Whether there is a thought, emotion or behavior,
the primary action is communication between the neurons within our brains.
Brainwaves are detected by placing specific sensors on
the scalp and measured using an electroencephalogram (EEG) which records the
electrical activity of the brain. They are divided into bandwidths to describe
their functions (below), but are best thought of as a continuous spectrum of
consciousness; from slow, loud and functional - to fast, subtle, and complex.
Like sound frequencies, brain waves are measured in
Hz, or cycles per second (cps). These
have been classified into five different types (or levels of mind) – four at
first, with a fifth level being added in the past decade or so. The four levels of mind documented are beta,
alpha, delta and theta. Gamma has been
the fifth (and recent) addition, very little is known as yet and it is being
researched, however I do have a theory of sorts which I have put forth in this
article for your perusal.
The higher the frequency of your brain waves, the
higher is the level of mind and vice versa.
The higher the level of mind, the higher is the conscious activity (or
hyperactivity). Generally, the slower
the frequency of your brain waves, the more relaxed you feel. A lower level of
mind is a healthier level of mind and meditation, neurofeedback, hypnosis, and
guided imagery have all been shown to help people control their brain waves
more efficiently for better health, greater performance, and a more positive
experience of life.
Level
|
CPS
(Hz)
|
State
|
Gamma
|
26-40+
|
Superconscious?
|
Beta
|
14-26
|
Awake & Outer-conscious
|
Alpha
|
7-14
|
Awake & Inner-conscious
|
Theta
|
4-7
|
Sleepy & subconscious
|
Delta
|
0-4
|
Unconscious
|
The Beta state which is our normal state as adults
during most of our waking hours, is where the brain operates at the highest
frequency, except for the Gamma state of abnormally high brain activity. This is the state where we are awake and
alert or perhaps have taken some drugs or chemicals such as benzodiazepines or
caffeine. It is essential for our
survival and our day to day activities to a certain extent. Note that being
awake does not mean you are attentive.
The Alpha state is associated with a relaxed,
daydreaming state of mind. As children,
until the age of 7 or 8, we would have been in this state 80% of our waking
hours, but this keeps reducing until as adults, we probably spend only 20% of
our waking hours in this state of mind.
As mentioned earlier, Nirmiti Nidra,
meditation techniques, pranayama, neurofeedback, progressive muscle relaxation,
hypnosis and guided imagery all lead you to this stage of relaxation. In fact, the Alpha state is the gateway to
all of them, whereby a few of them including Nirmiti Nidra
can lead you to a deeper state of mind, called Theta. The Alpha state is also
considered by almost all experts to be the initial link between the conscious
and the subconscious mind.
The Theta state, the state in which most little
children and newborns are, is associated with deeper states of meditation, spiritual
experiences or higher states of consciousness.
The subconscious mind is predominant whereas the conscious mind retreats
significantly. Intuitive insights are
common (for example, Mozart is known to have stated that a composition would
come to him all at once with complete clarity and in its entirety when he was
in a deep contemplative or meditative state; all he had to do was write it down
on paper). This state is also associated
with the REM state of sleep, where dreams occur and considered a reservoir of
creativity, waiting to be tapped into.
The Delta state is the sleep state, where there is
little or no conscious activity. Only
the unconscious rules. Delta waves adjourn
external awareness and are the source of empathy. Healing and regeneration are said
to be stimulated in this state, which is perhaps why deep restorative sleep is
so much of a prerequisite to any healing process. If the Alpha state is the link
to the subconscious, the Theta state is the bridge helping you cross over to
the subconscious, and the Delta state (if adults could achieve this) is the
bridge that helps you cross over to the collective unconscious (as Carl Jung calls
it).
The Gamma state was hitherto unknown since analog EEG
was restricted to measuring and recording rhythyms upto 25 Hz. With the onset of digital EEG, higher
frequences could be measured and recorded.
Although the earliest known case appears to be in 1964, it did not get
much attention until about a decade ago.
A lot of research is currently undertaken and not much is known about
this state.
Gamma brainwaves are the fastest of brain waves and
relate to simultaneous processing of information from different brain areas. Yet,
the mind has to be quiet to access it, and not agitated as in the case of the
Beta state. This means that quieting the
mind or attaining deepest levels of meditation/relaxation could actually
trigger off a Gamma state. Some
researchers have speculated that Gamma relates to expanded consciousness. Researchers
have also found that it is associated with bursts of insight and high-level
information processing.
A 2004 study of Tibetan Buddhist monks, who were
long-term practitioners of meditation revealed that, when the monks were told
to generate an objective feeling of compassion during meditation, their brain
activity began to fire in a rhythmic, coherent manner, suggesting neuronal
structures were firing in harmony. This was observed at a frequency of 25–40 Hz,
the rhythm of gamma waves. These gamma-band oscillations in the monk’s brain
signals were the largest seen in humans.
All of the above seem to suggest that the Gamma state
(when attained) possibly leads to superconsciousness or universal consciousness
or spiritual ascension, but neuroscientists are not necessary convinced.
Four curious points you may wish to particularly note:
You cannot attain an Alpha state
deliberately with your eyes open. It is only with your eyes closed, yet being alert
that you attain Alpha. However, there
are certain occassions where you can be in Alpha whilst watching TV or a movie,
during which you may experience ’spontaneous imagery’. Another example is in an ATM queue (not
uncommon these days) you are staring at something whereas your mind is focussed
elsewhere – this is also a state of Alpha. Boredom or daydreaming with eyes
open can also lead to Alpha. Under hypnosis and Nidra, you can attain Alpha
with your eyes open.
You are alert in both Beta and Alpha. However, in
Beta, your attention often drifts or wanders, in Alpha it is more focussed
with occassional lapses and in Theta, it is extremely focussed.
Time distortion occurs as you
get into deeper, healthier states of mind. In Alpha, you
have already lost some sense of time, in Theta – you would have no clue
whatsoever. You may think that a few
minutes have passed whereas it could easily be an hour.
One of the early researchers, Elmer Green of the
Menninger Clinic in Kansas, used biofeedback instruments to study Eastern
yogis. He discovered that certain yogis could control their internal states
merely through meditation and thought. The one thing their subjects had in
common when they were controlling involuntary body functions, was that they were in the alpha or theta states of
mind.
There is no doubt at all that Alpha and Theta states
are the gateways to your subconscious mind. Once you have accessed it in these
states, your subconscious mind willingly accepts suggestions and commands. Suggestions
and commands to your subconscious mind are maximum in Theta, optimal in Alpha
and relatively ineffective in Beta.
The author, Rajesh Seshadri, is an internationally
recognized Certified Leadership Coach, Certified Success Coach and Certified
Life Coach. He is also a NLP Master
Practitioner, facilitator and therapist.
The basket of therapies is holistic and integrative adopting techniques
from Psychotherapy, NLP, Silva, Gestalt, Hypnosis and Silva UltraMind.
Additionally, he is a seasoned corporate professional who continues to serve as
a whole-time Director and Board Member. You can contact him here.
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